


An expression of regret.

by Deliriumdoll



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars, The Last Jedi
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings, Force Bond, I wrote this on my lunch at work, Pining, Resolution, Reylo - Freeform, Star Wars - Freeform, Understanding, deep down, he sees her tenderness, rey lets kylo into her mind, she sees his desperation, they belong together, they both know it, they get eachother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-26 22:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15010676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deliriumdoll/pseuds/Deliriumdoll
Summary: The first force bond after leaving Crait.Rey is not happy with how things were left.Ben is pure rage.Rey makes the first move into reconciliation.





	An expression of regret.

The blue glow of hyperspace was hypnotic to Rey. She still wasn't used to the gleam of light and the incredible movement that barely felt like a breeze, despite the reality of the distance being covered in seconds.

Along with the remainder of the Resistance, Rey was bound for a secret planet that Leia and Poe had decided was the safest place for regrouping.

Leaning back into the pilots chair of the Millennium Falcon, Rey exhaled a long breath.  
So much had gone on in such a short time, she had no idea how to begin processing it all. Her emotions were a mess of what she thought was right and wrong, things she had done blurring those lines so easily. 

Before leaving Jakku these things were simple to her. If it helps you survive and doesn't hurt anyone, it's good. If it hurts someone and isn't a life saving necessary action, it was bad. 

Despite having killed many Storm Troopers without a second thought, the only person Rey cared that she could have hurt was Ben.  
Kylo?  
Ben? She wasn't sure which one he was anymore.

The scar she left was on Kylo. The pain of perceived betrayal was with Ben. Though she thought maybe it hurt her more than him right now.  
Never before had she thought of one person in two entirely different ways. It was confusing and she felt not entirely fair to him

Her mind recalled the recent events, troubling her to her core.

Waking up first after the lightsabre split, Rey's first action had been to pull both pieces of the sabre to her. As she whirled around regaining her surroundings, the large frame of an unconscious Ben Solo made her gut churn.  
Quickly she had ran to him, moving the hair from across his face and checking his pulse. It was strong and his breathing steady. Rolling him on to his side Rey knelt beside him for a few seconds, her hand resting on the side of his face. Through the force she felt his unconscious mind completely knocked out. Like the deepest most peaceful kind of sleep, something Rey knew nothing about.  
She hoped he would understand. No doubt her escape was already in peril having stayed too long by his side.  
"I'm sorry" she breathed out, barely audible.  
As she ran to Snoke's escape pod she looked back over her shoulder and glanced at Ben one more time. More uncertain of her actions now more than ever.

The loud call of Chewbacca roused Rey from her memories. 

"I'm alright, thank you. I'll be out when we leave hyperspace. Go enjoy your meal" she had turned to face him, smiling as she spoke. The large Wookie nodded and left her alone once more.

Stretching her arms above her head and groaning, Rey's body began to take note of its new aches and pains. Most of her muscles were gently aching, needing sustenance and energy. The burn on her arm from the Praetorian guards hit was the most painful still.  
It burned and stung at the same time. The scar it would be leaving would always be a reminder to Rey of the power and light in Ben Solo. The hit would have been so much worse had he not been fighting so fiercely by her side, taking out more guards before they descended on her. She doubted he even knew it was there. 

Letting her hands fall back to her sides she settled in once more, the pilots chair a surprisingly comfortable place to her. 

Gazing once more into the starry abyss of space Rey felt the shimmer first, the power of the force moving around her. Then she felt his rage. His absolutely mind numbing rage. His skin prickling pain becoming apparent seconds later, making Rey physically recoil into the chair.

Ben, where ever in the galaxy he was, was now seemingly perched in the co pilots chair. Hunched over himself, fists clenched, mind racing. 

Snapping up to meet Rey's gaze he immediately stood and turned away. As if disgusted.

She was shocked to see him unraveling so violently with his emotions.  
As she started to speak he raised his hand with a jerk,  
"Don't" was all he said. 

Frowning at his dismissal Rey stood up.

"I am sorry" she said, the conviction in her voice holding her tone steady and true.

"Don't waste your breath and my time with your lies" Ben spat out, twisting to face Rey.

"I'm not lying..." She began before he interrupted.

"You were never going to leave the Resistance, you would never risk being seen as unloyal to those traitors and rebel scum" his words measured but laced with venomous intent.

"That's not why I'm apologizing" Rey kept her voice strong, not backing down from Ben's anger fueled stare.  
She continued,  
"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up. That we didn't get a chance to figure something out. I was running out of time to get away before a more guards arrived and killed me on sight. I didn't run away from you. I ran from everyone else on that ship. But not you". 

As she spoke Ben's face changed, from indignation, disbelief, confusion and then what she hoped was acceptance.

He didn't speak for a while.

"Look in my mind if you don't believe me." She offered to him softly.

Immediately she felt the tendrils of his force sliding into her mind.  
She brought her throne room memories to the front of her mind and even kept the feelings of power and belonging from their fight together in with them. 

Ben's shoulders fell slightly with a loss of tension, his face becoming gentle.

He blinked a few times, scanning Rey's face as if it would show a lie he had missed.

In her mind's eye Rey replayed the moment where she checked Ben's breathing. The softness of his hair still tangible on her fingertips. The hope in her heart rising as she was watching him see through her memories, feeling her emotions and once more reaching a place of understanding that she was not trying to be a force against him. She hated the First Order. Not Ben Solo.  
And to her they were not one and the same. 

"I am so ..... lost" Ben finally whispered. His eyes low and body language suddenly that of a wearisome old man.

"I know, i have no idea what im meant to be doing either." Rey admitted, taking a step closer, trying to earn some eye contact.  
Sighing loud Ben raised his face, eyes looking everywhere other than Rey's, distracted by something.

"Are you in the cockpit?" he asked.  
"How could you tell?" she answered softly, a little confused.  
"The glow on your face, the blue flash of the hyperspace switch, i'd recognize it anywhere" his lip curled almost in a smile, eyes finally meeting Rey's.

"We will work this out Ben, you know that right?" Rey asked out of no where, a surprise even to herself.  
"We've both seen the way this can end, and i don't want to fight you." 

I want to fight _with_ you, _for_ you, her mind added silently.

Ben's eye's shined, he'd heard her unspoken words clearer than her spoken ones.

"We will figure this out" he repeated her words, the questioning tone in his voice apparent but not completely solid. 

"Together, yes, we will" she answered, a semblance of grin starting on her mouth.

"Together" his tone now certain as he spoke. 

Sharing a look of understanding, Rey and Ben exhaled at the same time.   
As the force began to shift, indicating the end of their connection Ben spoke quickly, eye's bright focussing on Rey,

"I'll be ..." and he was gone.

But the words " _here for you_ " echoed in Rey's mind, as she slumped back into the pilots chair. 

She still had no idea what she was meant to be doing, but there was a comfort in her mind telling her that she was on the way to the right thing.

**Author's Note:**

> This idea popped In to my head at work, completely out of the blue. I just had to put it down somewhere.  
> Let me know if you liked it!


End file.
